The horrible, totally not good, Field Trip
by Phoenixrin
Summary: Peter Parker wanted to die. Wanted to crawl into a hole, shrivel up and die. And no, this was not the normal gen-Z dark humour that at some point had gone beyond dark humour. aka The infamous Field Trip trope that I just had to write about
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys, so hello, hi, I want to die, jk, actually I don't know if I'm kidding.

This is my first time posting on ao3 and if you know me from then you probs know that I've only written anime fics so far. I never thought I'd ever write for anything other than anime, tbh.

Look what you made me do, Marvel.

Anyway, have the time of your life reading this because I sure as hell did writing this.

* * *

Peter Parker wanted to die. Wanted to crawl into a hole, shrivel up and _die_.

And no, this was not the normal gen -Z dark humour that at some point had gone beyond dark humour.

Okay, well, maybe it kinda was, because when isn't it? But you're missing the point.

You see, Fate was a bad, bad entity who took whole hearted pleasure in torturing Peter. After the whole Vulture and Liz-moved-away-omg-this-is-so-sad-karen-play-despacito case was done and over with, Peter actually succeeded (somewhat) in getting his life into order. Balancing his two identities was not something that he was necessarily good at, but Mr. Stark and May had helped him out a lot. Of course, after a lot of panicking and May knocking sense into both Peter and Tony after finding out Peter's fursona, because _goddamit Stark, you brought a kid into a war between enhanced humans and let him go around NYC getting stabbed and what not_.

Basically, Peter's life had been going from disastrous to hey-this-is-pretty-decent. His grades had been improving, he was missing Decathlon practices less often and actually got a good night's rest. (Tony had been especially relieved because there were many things that he didn't want the kid to learn from him and his insomniac habits were one of them).

And this is where Fate roller-bladed into his life, wrecking and setting everything on fire with a signboard that said ' _Oh no you don't_ '.

As an award for being gifted (read: depressed) students, the Midtown Academic Decathlon and an additional selected few were given a chance to tour their choice of place.

And _of course_ , it had to be _Stark Industries_ of all places, because when had his Parker Luck failed to ruin him?

When Mr. Harrington broke the news to them, there were a lot of different reactions. The majority of them were thrilled at the golden opportunity, Ned looked like he was about to pass out due from awe despite having been there a handful of times with Peter, Peter looked like he wanted Thor to smite him and Flash seemed to bask in the presence of Parker's obvious crisis.

Flash may or may not have thrown a crumpled paper ball at Peter's head that read 'Lets see how long before your lie is busted, PENIS parker'. Peter may or may not have been extremely tempted to correct it to 'Let's' and 'Parker' but then thought against it.

It kept him on the edge all day long.

* * *

Ned confronted him later that day, when no one was within the earshot. "Dude, what's gotten you so freaked out? Isn't this awesome? Now finally we can get Flash to shut up."

Peter gave Ned a dry look. When Ned urged him to give him a proper reply, Peter sighed and held up three fingers. "One: what if my secret identity gets out? I can't afford that Ned, you of all people should know why."

Ned nodded and Peter continued. "Two: If Mr. Stark finds out about Flash, well let's just say Flash will most probably shit himself. Three: If even after the trip it seems like I don't have an internship, you can imagine the trouble I'll be in. Either way, I'm going to attract undesirable attention. And the amount of explaining I'll have to do…." Peter shuddered at the thought. "Plus, Flash will never leave me alone again."

"Someone call me?" A voice called out from behind them. Peter and Ned both whipped around to see Flash sauntering over to them with a smug look on his face.

"Oh hi there Flash, I thought you'd gone home" Ned said in a clipped tone about the same time Peter stuttered out "How much of that did you hear, Flash?"

Decidedly ignoring Ned's comment, Flash leaned over to Peter. "Oh, I heard all about how your internship is fake and that you're gonna be in a lot of trouble, Parker. When were we going again? Thursday, was it? That's like, only, three days away. I'm looking forward to whatever shit excuse you come up with."

He walked away, seemingly in a very good mood, before Ned could get back on him because Peter surely wasn't.

Oh joy. Things were looking so great.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I'll update as soon as I can so in the meanwhile, R&R, ok?


	2. Chapter 2

Peter scooped up a spoonful of the rice in his plate and eyed it suspiciously. It looked fine, not burnt, not overcooked and actually smelt pretty nice. Then again, most of his aunt's disastrous dishes looked fine on the outside. Carefully, he put the spoon in his mouth, mentally bracing himself.

It was delicious.

Different, totally not the kind of flavours that he was used to, but delicious none the less. Judging from how May's expression lit up, Peter's surprise and bliss was showing on his face.

"That good, huh? You know, I was pretty skeptical when Riza gave me the recipe because it looks so complicated. Worth the effort, I guess."

"Riza, as in the one from the frog incident?" at May's nod, he gestured towards his plate. "What's it called?"

" _Biryani_. Gosh, I hope I pronounced that right."

They lapsed into comfortable silence. May raised an eyebrow. "Peter, don't you have something to tell me?"

Peter seemingly froze in his seat, gulped and spoke in a very low voice, "If this is about why the ceiling was slightly charred the other day, that was all Ned. Honestly, I don't know how you noticed because I thought we covered it up pretty well-"

"I was talking about the field trip actually," May said, amusement leaking into her voice, "but this sounds more interesting. Please, do continue."

Peter pointed an accusing finger at her. "Who told you? I know it wasn't Ned, May."

"MJ."

Peter repressed the urge to sink into his seat. Of course. Whatever was he thinking when he let MJ and May exchange contacts?

"She didn't tell me where you were going, though. Something about how that would ruin the fun…. So, tell me."

Peter did in fact sink into his seat this time, complete with a drawn-out groan. He covered his eyes with his hands and mumbled.

"Peter, I learnt English in school, not Mumble. You need to fix that habit of yours."

"Stark Industries."

There was a beat of silence, and Peter peeped from behind his hands to see May blink comically. Then her body shook and she brought up a hand to her mouth in a futile attempt to smother her giggles. Peter whined.

"Sorry, sorry." She said not sounding sorry at all. "Only you, Peter."

"Don't I know it."

May made a vague gesture. "Soo…..where's the slip? There must be something that I'll have to sign, right?"

Peter grudgingly slid it across the table to her. May looked like she wanted to laugh at him again and if she had then Peter would have seriously revolted. As it was, she quietly took the slip, maintaining as much dignity and composure as she could, and shooed him to his room to do his homework.

* * *

Peter shuffled towards his bed in exhaustion. He'd finished his homework, gone out Spider-manning and had even managed to come back home without bleeding out in a dark backstreet alley. A very big improvement. Of course, the field trip was still weighing down on his mind.

In hindsight, Peter knew that nothing would come out of stressing over it from this early on so he should stop thinking about it. But that would make him a functional being. Which he wasn't.

Coming back to the point at hand, Peter mentally listed off all the ways he could avoid the trip in. Definitely not flunking it. He had flunked way too many trips to not incur anyone's wrath and May would throw a tantrum. Sneak off in the middle of the trip? That could work since he was now an official (and favourite) intern at SI and had access to the whole building except for the fact that again, his teacher would be furious and he _knew_ that FRIDAY would give away his location to Mr. Stark only for the shits and giggles. Which was very weird, considering that it was an A.I. Eh, details.

He groaned and buried his face into his pillow. He would just deal with it when it came to that. Right now, he just wanted to catch some sleep before school because he damn well needed it.

* * *

"Tony, I know this is not the last time I'm going to have to tell you this but you have to sleep-" Pepper gets cut off when she enters the lab because Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark was currently sprawled on the marble surface of his desk(?) as if he had scrambled to get something and not get caught but hadn't made it back to dignity in time.

Tony lets out a long suffering sigh as Pepper rolled her eyes in exasperation. He makes his way across the room to where the newest addition to his hobby -tinkering with whatever the kid made – lay, a hugging robot. While the idea was admirable- a friend for lonely people that would give them hugs all day long (something gave him the suspicion that it was meant for people like him and the avengers when things got too much to bear) – Peter forgot to account for his super strength. He was perfectly fine with the amount of force the bot used to hug him but when the bot had hugged Tony he had almost cracked his back. The incident was followed by profuse apologies on Peter's part and many snarky remarks on his age on Rhodey's part. So now Tony was going to think about a way to fix that. Which wasn't very hard considering how fast he could make mechanised suits of armor but he wasn't actually going to touch it before asking the kid. It was only common mechanical etiquette. Yes, Tony was aware of that word.

But right now he needed something to distract him from Pepper glaring a hole in the back of his head and pretending to tinker will suffice.

"You're hiding something from me."

Tony sighed again. "Yeah well let's face it, its not the first time that has happened."

Pepper rubbed her temples and was about to say something when FRIDAY swooped in.

"If it gives you any reassurance, Miss Potts-" Tony's breath hitched because FRIDAY was a fucking traitor, "he was not doing anything that would upset you. In fact, I'm certain that you will find it amusing when you make him tell you."

Relief was evident in the breath that Tony let out.

"OK, since I trust FRIDAY," she got a withering glare from Tony, "we'll be talking about this _later_. First, get some sleep. And take a shower. You smell."

"What a marvellous way of expressing your love for me, Miss Potts."

"You should be glad that I still love you." She whispered as she leaned in for a kiss.

(This information is irrelevant because it totally did not happen. Because Tony Stark was not sitting in is lab watching vines on youtube. And he was not doing that because Peter made a dumb comment to himself while tinkering with him in his lab and then looked up as if he remembered that there was no guy in the chair to make a comeback at him.)

* * *

I'll be updating this on every Sunday. Idk how long its gonna be so lets just roll with it and see where it goes yeah?


End file.
